


The Boys

by sleepy_beez



Category: Christian Bible
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23321521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepy_beez/pseuds/sleepy_beez
Summary: A scandal at Christian Brothers?? Connor has kept a hidden life to himself for all four years of high school, but with only three months left, big changes are coming soon. What will his best friend Sam think of his secrets? How will the campus react to Connor's feelings? For young Connor, the journey has only just begun as he explores what it really means to call oneself "a boy"
Relationships: Samuel "Sam" Schlenkar/Connor McLaren-Finelli
Kudos: 5





	The Boys

Connor checked his new watch. 11:15 on the dot. 

Sam should be here.. he thought to himself, looking around the crowded high school hallway. Perhaps he’s talking to a teacher. He cares about his grades right now.

They had met by the table for the whole year, right outside the AP Lit classroom. It had been their place, their spot. How could he forget?

He felt a hand brush on his shoulder.

“Sam!” He tried not to sound too excited. Too desperate. Their friendship was walking a fine line already. And Sam was too precious for him to lose.

“Yeah, hey.” Sam seemed distant as he looked out, barely meeting Connor’s eyes. Connor hated that he had to look up to see him. Why did Sam have to be so tall?

Connor turned around to see what his friend was looking at. It didn’t take him long to notice. Her. Sam’s ex-girlfriend was a good 500 yards away, her long black braids swaying as she talked to her friends. Connor had hated her the moment they started dating. He had spent weekends upon weekends without his company. All the time lost, and they only had a few months left together…

No. He refused to think about that. Senior year was hard enough to handle, God forbid he start to wonder what it would be like to be left alone again.

Sam’s eyes finally met his own. God they were so blue today. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to zone out like that.”

Connor would forgive him for eras not to see him in this much pain. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry.” He paused for a moment, “hey, maybe this weekend we could go shopping. Just you me and Dylan. The boys.”

They called themselves The Boys. Connor couldn’t remember a time when they didn’t. Traditions and loyalties ran deep in their group, that’s what made it so special. He needed that kind of protection. They acted like a guard for him. No one could find out his secrets with the boys around. Dylan was the perfect choice for their shopping spree. Sam and Connor always followed the “rule of three,” believing that having a third party would prevent onlookers from thinking otherwise about their relationship. That it may be…more than friendship. And Dylan had a girlfriend. He wouldn’t be a threat, and for Connor jealousy was the hardest to hide.

\----

Connor didn’t mean to watch Sam eat his banana. The way his lips seemed to make a perfect O around the yellow fruit. He could feel himself blushing already. It’s ok, he thought, my skin’s always a little naturally red. 

Sam seemed to catch his gaze for a moment, and then turned to talk to Luke about some homework assignment or another. Was it possible he saw?

He never told his friend, but Connor hated the rule of three. He hated the façade of wearing pastel polos and drinking on the weekends. The frat culture of hyper-masculinity that Sam was so validated by. Sam had refused to even share a bed with him on a school trip, in fear of being labeled as other than hetero-normative. Am I really that repulsive? Connor had thought. Does he hate the thought of touching me? He felt trapped within their pseudo-white lifestyle, forced to conform to the men who hated his kind so much. That’s why he swore to never come out to them. He needed his walls.

The Sacramento sun blared from the sky, making the skin on his friends’ faces all turn light pink. Sam sprawled his long, bony body on the grass, extending every limb so that you could see his hip bones peeking out through his khakis. His golden curls spread out around him, his eyelashes fluttering from the light that shone onto his pale head. He looked like something out of a Renaissance painting, like the boyish gods who played nude around gardens and beside pools, embracing their small luxuries and feeding each other ripened grapes-his love of fine art was another secret Connor hid. But how could he not observe the beauty that was found in shading and oil paints, in the minute details that decorate the body? 

Oh, what he would give to be on top of him now. His arms holding down his arms, his fingers going through his long blond hair. Connor would kiss his fluttering eyelashes to save them from the sun. He would flatten the grass to keep it from touching that pristine white complexion. At that moment, the pain was too much to bear. There were some days when resisting his crush would rip him open.

“I…uh, I’m going to the bathroom.” He walked away before it could form. The boys could never know his secret.

He maneuvered his way around the groups of girls standing all around him. For Connor, looking at them was more of a cool-down. It moved his thoughts away from his desires.  
\----

I will take this time, dear reader, to speak about desires. Why should desire be such a dirty word in this context? Don’t we all desire some form of human contact, in one way or another? This poor boy is pressured by the world around him, having to stuff his desire in his pockets and live in a constant state of fear.

I do not want you to laugh at this miserable soul. I want you to pity him. He wants what all dreamers want, what stars sing of and what poets die for: love. In this world, at this moment, Connor has been denied his ability to love. It is the greatest tragedy of our time.  
\----

Lost in thought, Connor left for his next class as troubled as ever. He had spent four long years at Sam’s side, hopelessly devoted to his best friend. But these past few months had been torturous. He knew he couldn’t keep his mirage up. Now all he could fear was when everything finally spilled out.

“Oh!”

“Oh no!” He had tried to stop himself, but it was too late. The person in front of him had spilt all of their belongings from the collision. He bent down to begin picking things up, but paused when he heard, “No, really, Connor. It’s fine.” 

He looked up to see none other than Sabrina Callaway.

Oh great, this again.


End file.
